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1st Crowborough Scouts

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Southon Scouts Campfire Song Book

Click here to hear a 1st Crowborough greetings message sung to you. Warning it's a bit eccentric!

1st Crowborough
Southon Scout Troop
CAMPFIRE SONGBOOK


Version 2.0.1.0.9.2.3.6.6f
February 2011

A BOOM-CHIK-A
A YOUNG AUSTRIAN
ALICE THE CAMEL
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
AMERICAN PIE
ANIMAL FAIR
BABY BUMBLE BEE
BANANA SONG
BEAVER CHANT
BE KIND TO YOUR WEB-FOOTED FRIENDS
BINGO
BLOWING IN THE WIND
BLUE JAY
BOOM-CHICKA-BOOM
CALIFORNIA DREAMING (The Mamas & The Papas)
CAMP FIRE IS BURNING
CECIL
CLEMENTINE
CONSIDER YOURSELF AT HOME
CUDDLY KOALAS
DAISY DAISY
DAY-O
DON'T DILLY DALLY ON THE WAY
ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN
EVERYWHERE WE GO
FISH AND CHIPS AND VINEGAR
FLEA FLY
FROGGIE
FOG ON THE TYNE
FOUND A PEANUT
GING GANG GOO
GLORY, GLORY, HOW PECULIAR
GOING DOWN THE VALLEY
GOODLY THING
GREEN GROW THE RUSHES O
GREY SQUIRREL
HAM AND EGGS
HARRY POTTER
HE JUMPED FROM 30,000 FEET
HEAD, SHOULDERS, KNEES AND TOES
HELLO MY NAME IS O
HOLE IN MY BUCKET
IF I HAD A HAMMER
IF I HAD THE WINGS OF A BUTTERFLY
IF I WAS NOT UPON THE STAGE
I'M A BELIEVER
IN A CABIN IN A WOOD
IT AIN’T GONNA RAIN NO MORE (Mary Mary)
IT'S A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY
I'VE GOT A LOVERLY BUNCH OF COCONUTS
KOOKABURRA
KUM BA YAH
LAND OF THE SILVER BIRCH
LET IT BE
LITTLE RABBIT
LLAMA SONG words and video
LLOYD GEORGE KNEW MY FATHER
MR. TAMBOURINE MAN (The Byrds)
MUSIC MAN
MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN
MY FATHER'S A LAVATORY CLEANER (Brasso)
MY HAT IT HATH THREE CORNERS
MY STOMACH HAS HAD IT
NURSERY RHYMES
NUTBUSH CITY LIMITS
OH YOU’LL NEVER GO TO HEAVEN
OLD MACDONALD
ON ILKLEY MOOR BAR T'AT
ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI
ONE MAN WENT TO MOW
PACK UP YOUR TROUBLES
PEACEFUL, EASY FEELING (The Eagles)
PIZZA HUT
QUATERMASTER'S STORES
REIGHT DAHN IN COIL OIL
ROCKSTAR
ROW ROW YOUR BOAT
SCARBOROUGH FAIR
SCOUT STAR
SHE'LL BE COMIN' 'ROUND THE MOUNTAIN
SHOUTS, Billy Bennett, Ham and eggs, Steamroller, The Urge, Rule Britannia and Winnie the Pooh
SINGING IN THE RAIN
STAR TREKKIN'
SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT
TAVERN IN THE TOWN
TELL ME WHY
TEN GREEN BOTTLES
TEN IN A BED
THE ANIMAL FAIR
THE ANNOYING SONG
THE BOXER (Simon & Garfunkel)
THE COW KICKED FRED
THE FIRST AIDERS SONG
THE GRAND OLD CAPTAIN KIRK
THE GRAND OLD DUKE OF ORKS
THE GRAND OLD DUKE OF YORK
THE GREAT AMERICAN RAILWAY
THE HAPPY WANDERER
THE HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN (The Animals)
THE LITTLE GREEN FROG
THE QUARTERMASTER'S STORE
THE SOUNDS OF SILENCE (Simon & Garfunkel)
THIS OLD MAN
THREE BLIND JELLYFISH
TIE ME KANGAROO DOWN, SPORT
WE’RE GOIN’ ON A BEAR HUNT  
WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE
WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE DRUNKEN SAILOR?
WILD ROVER
WOAD
WOR GEORDIE
WORMS
ZULU DANCING

A BOOM-CHIK-A

(Audience repeats each line)
I said a boom
I said a boom-chik-a
I said a boom-chik-a-rock
I said a boom-chik-a-rock-a-chik-a-rock-a-chik-a-boom!
Oh yeah?
All right
One more time
Only this time…

… Like a Beaver (tiny voice)

I said a boom
I said a boom-chik-a
I said a boom-chik-a-rock
I said a boom-chik-a-rock-a-chik-a-rock-a-chik-a-boom!
Oh yeah?
All right
One more time

Only this time…

(repeat in other styles:

… Like a Cub (shy voice)

… Like a Cub Leader (booming voice)

… Like a Guide Leader (bossy voice)

… Like a Scout (bored, ‘I suppose so’ voice)

A YOUNG AUSTRIAN

A young Austrian went yodelling on the mountain so high
When along came a cuckoo bird, interrupting his cry

Oh – oh –oh …
Yodel-ley-de, Yodel-ley-de, cuckoo!
Yodel-ley-de, Yodel-ley-de, cuckoo!
Yodel-ley-de, Yodel-ley-de, cuckoo!
Yodel-ley-de-o

St.Bernard dog . . . Hahh, hahh (pant)

Grizzly bear . . . Grrrrr (fierce noise)

Avalanche … Whoosh!

Milking cow . . . Schhh (milking sound)

Pretty maid . . . Kiss, kiss (kiss hand)

Her mother . . . Ahh (scream)

Her father . . . BANG!

ALICE THE CAMEL

Alice the camel has 10 humps, Alice the camel has 10 humps
Alice the camel has 10 humps, so go, Alice, GO!!
Bom Bom Bom...

[Repeat with 9, 8, 7 . . humps, until . . ]

Alice the camel has no humps, Alice the camel has no humps
Alice the camel has no humps, 'cause Alice is a HORSE!!

ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE - Eric Idle - Monty Python

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

KEY Am

verse:
Am G
Am G
Am G E7
A7 D7

chorus:
G E7 Am D7
G E7 A7 D7

AMERICAN PIE

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while.

But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn't take one more step.

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, Miss American pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock 'n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you're in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin' in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin',
"bye-bye, Miss American pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

Now for ten years we've been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin' stone,
But that's not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while Lennon read a book of Marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
"bye-bye, Miss American pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
"bye-bye, Miss American pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil's only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that Satan's spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw Satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing,
"bye-bye, Miss American pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
And singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I'd heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldn't play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singing,
"bye-bye, Miss American pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin', "this'll be the day that I die.
"this'll be the day that I die."

They were singing,
"bye-bye, Miss American pie."
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye
Singin', "this'll be the day that I die."

 Don McLean

THE ANIMAL FAIR

We went to the animal fair,
the birds and the beasts were there,
By the light of the moon the big baboon
was combing his auburn hair.
The monkey, he got drunk,
and fell on the elephant's trunk,
The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees,
And that was the end of the monk-ey, monk-ey, monk...

BABY BUMBLE BEE

I've got a little baby bumble bee (cup hands)
Won't my mummy be surprised at me
I've got a little baby bumble bee
Ooo, eee, the bee stung me
 

I'm squashing up my baby bumble bee (squash hands)
Won't my mummy be surprised at me
I'm squashing up my baby bumble bee
Ooo, eee, I'm all sticky

I'm licking up my baby bumble bee (lick hands)
Won't my mummy be surprised at me
I'm licking up my baby bumble bee
Ooo, eee, the bee's in me

I'm bringing up my baby bumble bee (be sick on 'bring')
Won't my mummy be surprised at me
I'm bringing up my baby bumble bee
Ooo, eee, there's my bee

I'm digging up my baby bumble bee (digging action)
Won't my mummy be surprised at me
I'm digging up my baby bumble bee
Ooo, eee, there's no more bee!

BANANA SONG

Bananas Unite!
Peel bananas,
Peel peel bananas
Peel bananas,
Peel peel bananas
Slice bananas
Slice slice banan
as Slice bananas
Slice slice banan
as Eat Bananas
Eat eat bananas
Eat Bananas
Eat eat bananas
Go Bananas
Go go bananas
Go Bananas
Go go bananas

BEAVER CHANT

(With actions and energy please!)

Beaver one beavers all, let’s all do the beaver call
ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah (cup hands like megaphone)

Beaver two beaver three, let’s all climb the beaver tree
ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah (climbing tree actions)

Beaver four beaver five, let’s all do the beaver jive
ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah (do hand jive)

Beaver six beaver seven, let’s all go to beaver heaven
ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ( make church roof and zig-zag)

Beaver eight beaver nine, STOP! It’s beaver time
ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ( Hold hand up to stop sign)

Beaver ten, let’s do it again....

BE KIND TO YOUR WEB-FOOTED FRIENDS

[to the tune of "Here we go, Here we go, Here we go"]

Be kind to your web-footed friends
For that duck may be somebody's mother,
She lives on the edge of a swamp
Where the weather is always damp.

You may think that this is the end,
Well it is but to prove that you're all liars,
We're going to sing it again,
But only this time we will sing a little higher.

[Repeat the song but sing it a bit higher. Continue on for as many rounds as you can stand!]

BINGO

There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-o’
B-I-N-G-O,
B-I-N-G-O,
B-I-N-G-O,
and Bingo was his name-o.

Sing song through six times, the first time just spelling out the name BINGO; second time, clap the ‘B’ and spell out the last four letters; third time, clap the ‘B’ and the ‘I’ and spell out the last three letters; etc., until all five letters are clapped out

BLOWING IN THE WIND

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand
How many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned
The answer my friend
Is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind

How many times must a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea
How many years can some people exist
Before they;re allowed to be free
How many times can a man turn his head
Pretending he just doesn't see
The answer my friend
Is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky
How many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry
How many deaths will it till he knows
That too many people have died
The answer my friend

Is blowing in the wind
The answer is blowing in the wind  Bob Dylan, 1965

BLUE JAY

(Audience repeats each line)
Down in the valley not so very far off
A blue jay died of a whooping cough
He whooped so hard with that whooping cough
That he whooped his head and his tail right off

(Repeat several times becoming louder and more animated each time, then switch back to a whisper for last verse)

BOOM-CHICKA-BOOM

I says a-boom-chicka-boom!
I says a-boom-chicka-boom! (Group echoes)
I says a-boom-chicka-rocka-chicka-rocka-chicka-boom!(Group echoes)
Uh-huh! (Group echoes)
On Yeah! (Group echoes)
One more time! (Group echoes)
A little . . . . LOUDER! (Group echoes)

Each time a leader adds a different variation such as:
Quieter, Beaver, Scout Leader, Akela etc.

CALIFORNIA DREAMING (The Mamas & The Papas)

All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
I’ve been for a walk
On a winter’s day
I’d be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.
California dreaming
On a winter’s day

Stopped into a church
I passed along the way
Well I got down on my knees
And I pretend to pray
You know the preacher liked the call
He knows I’m going to stay
California dreaming
On such a winter’s day

All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
I’ve been for a walk
On a winter’s day
If I didn’t tell her
I could leave today
California dreaming
On a winter’s day

California dreaming
On a winter’s day
California dreaming

On a winter’s day J & M Phillips, 1966

CAMPFIRE IS BURNING

Campfire is burning,
Campfire is burning?
Draw nearer,
Draw nearer,
In the gloaming,
In the gloaming,
Come sing and be merry,
Come sing and be merry.
(Often sung as a round)

CECIL

Cecil was a caterpillar, Cecil was my friend
The last time I saw Cecil he was *this* big
fingers about an inch apart
I said "Ooh, Cecil! What have you done?"
And Cecil Said
"I've eaten all the cabbages in the garden"

Cecil was a caterpillar, Cecil was my friend
The last time I saw Cecil he was *this* big
Hands about six inches apart
I said "Ooh, Cecil! What have you done?"
And Cecil Said
"I've eaten all the cabbages in the street"

And so on, until Cecil is so big that you have to run across the circle to indicate size, and Cecil's eaten all the cabbages in the Universe

Cecil was a caterpillar, Cecil was my friend
The last time I saw Cecil he was *this* big
fingers about an inch apart
I said "Ooh, Cecil! What have you done?"
And Cecil Said:
"I've been sick"

CLEMENTINE

In a cavern, in a canyon, excavating for a mine,
Lived a miner, forty-niner, and his daughter Clementine.

CHORUS
Oh my darling, Oh my darling,
Oh my darling Clementine,
You are lost and gone forever,
dreadful sorry, Clementine.

Light she was, and like a fairy,
and her shoes were number nine,
Herring boxes without topses,
sandals were for Clementine.

Drove she ducklings to the water
every morning just at nine,
Hit her foot against a splinter,
fell into the foaming brine.

Ruby lips above the water,
blowing bubbles soft and fine,
Alas for me! I was no swimmer,
so I lost my Clementine.

In a churchyard near the canyon,
where the myrtle doth entwine,
There grow roses and other posies,
fertilized by Clementine.

Then the miner, forty-niner,
soon began to peak and pine,
Thought he oughter join his daughter,
now he's with his Clementine.

In my dreams she still doth haunt me,
robed in garments soaked in brine,
While in life I used to hug her,
now she's dead I draw the line.

How I missed her, how I missed her,
how I missed my Clementine,
Until I kissed her little sister,
and forgot my Clementine.

Now ye Scouts all heed the warning
to this tragic tale of mine,
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
would have saved my Clementine.

CONSIDER YOURSELF AT HOME

Consider yourself at home
Consider yourself one of the family
We've taken to you so strong
It's clear, we're going to get along
Consider yourself well in
Consider yourself part of the furniture
There isn't a lot to spare
Who cares, whatever we've got we'll share
If it should chance to be we should see
Some harder days, empty larder days
Why grouse?
Always a chance we'll meet
Somebody to foot the bill
Then the drinks are on the house
Consider yourself our mate
We don't want to have no fuss
For after some consideration we can state
Consider yourself one of us

CUDDLY KOALAS

(Tune = Frère Jacques)


Cuddly koalas, cuddly koalas
(cradle & swing arms)
Possums too, possums too
(possum eyes - circle with finger & thumb brought up to eyes)
Wallabies and wombats, wallabies and wombats
(little bounce/jump/bend knees with hands in front, rather like begging action)
Kangaroos, kangaroos
(bigger jump, more exaggerated hands)

[Works well as a round]

DAISY DAISY

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do
I'm half crazy, oh for the love of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet, upon the seat
Of a bicycle made for two

Henry, Henry, here is your answer true
I'm not crazy over the likes of you
If YOU can't afford a carriage, forget about the marriage
'Cause I won't be jammed, I won't be crammed
On a bicycle made for two

DAY-O

Chorus:
Day-O, Day-O,
Daylight come and me wan' go home,
Day-O, Day-O,
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
Work all night on a drink of rum
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
Stock bananas till the morning come,
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
Come Mr. Tally man, Tally me bananas,
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
Come Mr. Tally man, Tally me bananas,
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
chorus
Pick six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch,
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
Pick six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch,
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
chorus
A beautiful bunch of ripe bananas
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
Hide the deadly black tarantula.
Daylight come and me wan' go home.
chorus

DON'T DILLY DALLY ON THE WAY

My old man said 'Follow the van
And don't dilly dally on the way'
Off went the van with my home packed in it
I followed on with my old cock linnet
I dillied and dallied, dallied and dillied
Lost my way and don't know where to roam
Well you can't trust a special like the old time copper
When you can't find your way home

ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN

What do you do when you want to do a poo,
In an English Country Garden?
Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants,
In an English Country Garden.
Go find a leaf to wipe your underneath,
In an English Country Garden.
Roll it in a ball and throw it over the wall,
In an English Country Garden.
Run for your life 'cos it hit the Vicar's wife,
In an English Country Garden.

EVERYWHERE WE GO

Everywhere we go (Everywhere we go)
People want to know (People want to know)
Who we are (Who we are)
And where we come from (Where we come from)
So we tell them (So we tell them)
We're from Crowborough (We're from Crowborough)
The Mighty 1st Crowborough (The Mighty 1st Crowborough)
And if they can't hear us (And if they can't hear us)
We'll sing a little louder (We'll sing a little louder)

(Repeat several times, louder each time until...

And if they can't hear us … THEY MUST BE DEAF!

FISH AND CHIPS AND VINEGAR

(Sing as a 3 part round once all the verses have been taught)

Fish and chips with vinegar
vinegar, vinegar
Fish and chips with vinegar
pepper pepper pepper pot

Yer can’t put yer muck in ah dus’bin
ah dus’bin, ah dus’bin
Yer can’t put yer muck in ah dus’bin
ah dus’bin’s full

One bottle o’ beer, two bottle o’ beer,

Three bottle o’ beer, four bottle o’ beer,

Five bottle o’ beer, six bottle o’ beer,

Seven, eight, bottle o’beer

FLEA FLY

Flea.
Flea, fly.
Flea, fly, flo.
Fiesta
Kumala, kumala, kumala viesta
Aa-na-nana-ne-niesta
Eenie-meanie-deci-meanie-ou-watcha-wanna-meani

Esker-meanie-sala-meanie-ou-watcha-waa.
Heat-billy-aughton-dote-waa-da-sche-deeten-dot

Actions: Set up a clap-slapping rhythm, and repeat each line after the leader. On the first run-through, do it slowly; with each repetition go faster, until the audience explodes.

FROGGIE

Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny tiny little froggie.
Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny tiny little froggie.
Sittin’ in a puddle at the bottom of the garden.
Sittin’ in a puddle at the bottom of the garden.
Eatin’ all the worms and tiny little spiders
Eatin’ all the worms and tiny little spiders
Go, go, go, little froggie.
Go, go, go, little froggie.

A-ha
A-ha
That’s fine
That’s fine
One more time
One more time

(Repeat getting loader each time)

FOG ON THE TYNE  Lindisfarne

Sittin' in a sleazy snack-bar
Snuckin' sickly sausage rolls
Slippin' down slowly, slippin' down sideways
Think I'll sign off the dole
'Cause the fog on the Tyne is all mine, all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine, all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine

Could a copper catch a crooked coffin maker
Could a copper comprehend
That a crooked coffin maker's just an undertaker
Who undertakes to be a friend
And the fog on the Tyne is all mine, all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine, all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine

Tell it to tomorrow, today will take its time
To tell you what tonight will bring
Presently we'll have a pint or two together
Ev'rybody do their thing

We can swing together, we can have a wee wee
We can have a wet on the wall
If someone slips a whisper that its simple sister
Slapped them down and slavered on their smalls
'Cause the fog on the Tyne is all mine, all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine, all mine
The fog on the Tyne is all mine ....

FOUND A PEANUT to the tune of Clementine

Found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut over there
Thought I'd eat it, thought I'd eat it, thought I'd eat it didn't care
Rather tasty, rather tasty, rather tasty, but now
Got a pain, got a pain, got a pain, don't know how
Fetch a doctor, fetch a doctor, fetch a doctor, fetch him quick
Appendicitis, appendicitis, appendicitis, feeling sick
Cut him open, cut him open, cut him open, save his life
Sew him up, sew him up, sew him up around my knife
Cut him open, cut him open, cut him open, till its found
Sew him up, sew him up, have you seen my specs around
Cut him open, cut him open, cut him open, . . .

GING GANG GOO

Ging gang gooli gooli gooli gooli watcha, ging gang goo, ging gang goo
Ging gang gooli gooli gooli gooli watcha, ging gang goo, ging gang goo
Heyla, heyla sheyla, heyla sheyla, heyla roo
Heyla, heyla sheyla, heyla sheyla, heyla roo
Shali walli, shali walli, shali walli, shali walli
Oompha, Oomph

GLORY, GLORY, HOW PECULIAR

(Tune = John Browns Body)

As one woodpecker pecked up the peg, the other woodpecker pecked down
As one woodpecker pecked up the peg, the other woodpecker pecked down
As one woodpecker pecked up the peg, the other woodpecker pecked down
As one woodpecker pecked up the peg, the other woodpecker pecked down

Glory, glory, how peculiar
Glory, glory, how peculiar
Glory, glory, how peculiar

As one woodpecker pecked up the peg, the other woodpecker pecked down

As one sly snake slipped up the slide, other sly snake slipped down

As one blue bat blew in the bowl, other blue bat blew out

As one black bug bled blue black blood, the other black bug bled blue

As one drunk duck dove into the ditch, the other drunk duck dropped dead

As one flea fly flew up the flue, the other flea fly flew down

As one pink porpoise popped into the pool, other pink porpoise popped out

As one brown bear backed up the bank, other brown bear backed down

As one white whale whipped over the waves, other white whale whipped under

GOING DOWN THE VALLEY

We are going down the valley, going down the valley
Going down the valley one by one, one by one
We are going down the valley, going down the valley
Going to the setting of the sun
We are coming up the valley, coming up the valley
Coming up the valley one by one, one by one
We are coming up the valley, coming up the valley
Coming to the rising of the sun

Repeat the first verse several times getting quieter each time as you get further down the valley. Then switch to the second verse and get louder on each repeat

GOODLY THING

Oh what a goodly thing
That the children of all men
Should live together
In peace

(sing twice through, then as a round in up to 4 parts)

GREEN GROW THE RUSHES O

I'll sing you one o
Green grow the rushes o
What is your one o
One is one and all alone
And ever more shall be so

I'll sing you two o
Green grow the rushes o
What is your two o
Two, two the lily white boys
Clothed all in green o o
One is one and all alone
And ever more shall be so

Three, three the rivals
Four for the Gospel makers
Five for the symbols at your door
Six for the six brown walkers
Seven for the seven stars in the sky
Eight for the April rainers
Nine for the nine bright shiners
Ten for the Ten Commandments
Eleven for the eleven that went to heaven
Twelve for the twelve apostles

GREY SQUIRREL

Grey Squirrel, Grey Squirrel wag your bushy tail (hands like a squirrel, wag your tail)
Grey Squirrel, Grey Squirrel wag your bushy tail (repeat actions)
Put your nuts between your toes (put nuts between toes)
Then you rub your shiny nose (rub your nose)
Grey Squirrel, Grey Squirrel wag your bushy tail (repeat actions)

HAM AND EGGS

Divide group in two and alternatively shout the phrases between the punctuation.
All sing the last "ham and eggs"

Ham and eggs, ham and eggs,
I like mine fried nice and brown,
I like mine fried up and down,
Ham and eggs, ham and eggs,
Flip 'em, flop 'em, flop 'em, flip 'em;

Ham and eggs!

HARRY POTTER

(A chant from Rowlings favourite son. Each part of the campfire is given a character to do and compete against each other)

(Snape in flat voice)
What is that mysterious ticking noise (somebody taps two sticks or spoons together in a regular ticking noise)
Kinda catchy
Snape, Snape
Severus Snape
(Dumbledore)
Dumbledore(Dumble-door)
(Snape)
Snape, Snape
Severus Snape
(Dumbledore)
Dumbledore
(Harry Potter)
Harry Potter (very fast)
(Ron Weesley)
Ron Weeeesley (Weezly like wheeee)
(Hermione)
Hermione, Hermione Granger
Repeat 4 times
(All) Singing our song
All day long at HOGG –WARTS
(Harry) I found the source of the ticking, it’s a bomb!
(all )Boom!!!
Voldemort voldemort, volde, volemort!

 

HE JUMPED FROM 30,000 FEET

(Tune = John Browns Body)

He jumped from thirty thousand feet without a parachute
He jumped from thirty thousand feet without a parachute
He jumped from thirty thousand feet without a parachute
And he aint gonna jump no more

Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
And he aint gonna jump no more

They scraped him off the runway like a lump of strawberry jam
They scraped him off the runway like a lump of strawberry jam
They scraped him off the runway like a lump of strawberry jam
And he aint gonna jump no more

They put him in a match box and they sent him home to mum
They put him in a match box and they sent him home to mum
They put him in a match box and they sent him home to mum
And he aint gonna jump no more

She put on the mantel piece for everyone to see
She put on the mantel piece for everyone to see
She put on the mantel piece for everyone to see
And he aint gonna jump no more

She put him on the table when the Vicar came to tea
She put him on the table when the Vicar came to tea
She put him on the table when the Vicar came to tea
And he aint gonna jump no more

The Vicar spread him on some toast and said what lovely jam
The Vicar spread him on some toast and said what lovely jam
The Vicar spread him on some toast and said what lovely jam
And he aint gonna jump no more

HEAD, SHOULDERS, KNEES AND TOES

Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
And eyes and ears, and mouth and nose.
Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.

[Touch the appropriate body part each time it's mentioned. Second time: don't say the word 'head' aloud, but still touch it. Each verse thereafter, don’t mention the next body part as well but keep the actions going until the whole thing is eventually done without words.]

HELLO MY NAME IS O

Hello my name is O and I work in a button factory
And last night my boss said "O are your busy"
And I said "No"
Well press this button then (press button with finger)

Hello my name is O and I work in a button factory
And last night my boss said "O are your busy"
And I said "No"
Well press this button then (press two buttons with both hands alternately)

Hello my name is O and I work in a button factory
And last night my boss said "O are your busy"
And I said "No"
Well press this button then (press buttons with both hands and one foot)

Hello my name is O and I work in a button factory
And last night my boss said "O are your busy"
And I said "No"
Well press this button then (press buttons with both hands and two feet)

Hello my name is O and I work in a button factory
And last night my boss said "O are your busy"
And I said "No"
Well press this button then (press buttons with both hands, two feet and nose)

Hello my name is O and I work in a button factory
And last night my boss said "O are your busy"
And I said "No"
Well come and join my Scout Troop then!

HOLE IN MY BUCKET

There's a hole in my bucket
dear Liza, dear Liza
There's a hole in my bucket
dear Liza, a hole

Well fix it, dear Henry
dear Henry, dear Henry
Well fix it, dear Henry, well fix it

With what shall fix it . . .
With straw . . .
The straw is too long . . .
Well cut it . . .
With what shall I cut it . . .
With an axe . . .
The axe is too dull . . .
Then sharpen it, . . .
With what shall I sharpen it . . .
With a stone . . . .
The stone is too dry . . .
Then wet it . . .
With what shall I wet it . . .
With water . . . .
In what shall I fetch it . . .
With a bucket . . .
There's a hole in my bucket . . .

IF I HAD A HAMMER

If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening, all over this land
I'd hammer out danger, I'd hammer out a warning
I'd hammer out the love between my brothers and sisters
All over this land

If I had a bell, I'd ring it in the morning
I'd ring it in the evening, all over this land
I'd ring out danger, I'd ring out a warning
I'd ring about the love between my brothers and sisters
All over this land

If I had a song, I'd sing it in the morning
I'd sing it in the evening, all over this land
I'd sing out danger, I'd sing out a warning
I'd sing about the love between my brothers and sisters
All over this land

Well I've got a hammer, and I've got a bell
And I've got a song to sing, all over this land
It's the hammer of justice, It's the bell of freedom
It's the song about the love between my brothers and sisters
All over this land

IF I HAD THE WINGS OF A BUTTERFLY

Oo-la-la, oo-la-la, oo-la
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la-oo
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la, oo-la
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la-oo

If I had the wings of a butterfly
Off to the woods I would fly
There to remain as a butterfly
Until the day that I die

Oo-la-la, oo-la-la, oo-la
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la-oo
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la, oo-la
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la-oo

If I had the wings of an eagle
Up to the hills I would fly
There to remain as an eagle
Until the day that I die

Oo-la-la, oo-la-la, oo-la
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la-oo
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la, oo-la
Oo-la-la, oo-la-la-oo

If I had the wings of a pioneer
Off to the woods I would fly
There to remain as a pioneer
Until the day that I die

IF I WAS NOT UPON THE STAGE

Best done as a sketch with the singers in a line and the actions overlapping as deliberate near-misses

If I was not upon the stage one place I'd rather be...
If I was not upon the stage,
A policeman I would be.
I'd sing my song, all day long,
"Hey, You, Get off my street!"

If I was not upon the stage one place I'd rather be...
If I was not upon the stage,
A gym teacher I would be.
I'd sing my song, all day long,
"Up and up and do-o-o-wn!"
"Hey, You, Get off my street!"

If I was not upon the stage one place I'd rather be...
If I was not upon the stage,
An engineer I would be.
"Two feet by four feet, Bam-Bam-Bam!"
"Up and up and do-o-o-wn!"
"Hey, You, Get off my street!"

A gardener I would be
"Dig a hole, plant a seed, wait until it grows"

A waitress I would be
"Here's your food, here's your drink, here's a bag, Oops!"

A painter I would be
"Here's a pot, here's a brush, slap it on the door"

I'M A BELIEVER - Neil Diamond - The Monkeys

I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me.
Love was out to get me
That's the way it seemed.
Disappointment haunted all my dreams.

Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave her if I tried.

I thought love was more or less a given thing,
Seems the more I gave the less I got.
What's the use in tryin'?
All you get is pain.
When I needed sunshine I got rain.

Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave her if I tried.

IN A CABIN IN A WOOD

(With actions)

In a cabin in a wood
A little old man at the window stood
Saw a rabbit running by
Frightened as could be
Help me! Help me! Help me! He said
Before the huntsman shoots me dead
Little rabbit come inside
Safely to abide
(Repeat in the style of a beaver, a cub and an Explorer Scout)

IT AIN’T GONNA RAIN NO MORE

Chorus:
It aint gonna rain no more no more,
It aint gonna rain no more,
So how the heck can I wash my neck
If it aint gonna rain no more.

Mary had a little Lamb,
She fed it castor oil,
And everywhere that Mary went
it fertilized the soil.

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
10 000 volts shot up its leg
And turned its wool to nylon

Mary had an little lamb
It danced in skips and hops,
It danced into the road one day
And ended up as chops

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised
But when Old McDonald had a farm
He couldn't believe his eyes

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
Its sooty foot he put

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front.
But she didn't wear that one very often.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
‘Pies - you idiot’.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh shit, it's Global Warming.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

IT'S A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY

It's a long way to Tipperary
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to Tipperary
To the sweetest girl I know,
Goodbye Piccadilly
Farewell Leicester Square
It's a long long way to Tipperary
But my heart's right there.

[Can be sung in a round with "Pack up your troubles"]

I'VE GOT A LOVERLY BUNCH OF COCONUTS

I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts,
There they are, a-standing in a row;
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead
Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist,
That's what the showman said.He said:

I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts;
Every ball I throw will make me rich
There stands me wife, the idol of my life,
Singing, Roll-a-bowl-a-ball-a-penny-a-pitch!

Singing, Roll-a-bowl-a-ball-a-penny-a-pitch!
Singing, Roll-a-bowl-a-ball-a-penny-a-pitch!
Roll-a-bowl-a-ball!Roll-a-bowl-a-ball!
Singing roll-a-bowl-a-ball-a-penny-a-pitch!

KOOKABURRA

Kookaburra sits in an old gum tree
Merry, merry king of the bush is he
Laugh Kookaburra, laugh Kookaburra
Merry merry gay your life must be
Ha, ha, ha!

Kookaburra sits in an old gum tree
Eating all the gum drops he can see
Stop Kookaburra, stop Kookaburra
Save some there for me
Yum, yum, yum!

KUM BA YAH

Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah!
Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah!
Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah!
Oh Lord, kum ba yah!

Someone's sleeping, Lord . . .

Someone's crying, Lord . . .

Someone's praying, Lord . . .

(all hum a verse while leader recites the Scout Promise)

Someone's singing, Lord . . .

Someone's laughing, Lord . . .

Kum ba yah, my Lord, . . .

LAND OF THE SILVER BIRCH

Land of the silver birch, home of the beaver
Where still the mighty moose wanders at will

Blue lake and rocky shore
I will return once more
Boom-diddi-eye-di, boom-diddi-eye-di
Boom-diddi-eye-di, boom


My heart is sick for you, here in the lowlands
I will return to you, hills of the north

Swift as a silver fish, canoe of birch bark
Thy mighty waterways carry me forth

There where the blue lake lies, I'll set my wigwam
Close to the water's edge, silent and still

LET IT BE

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be,

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be,
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, oh let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me,
Shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be,
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be,
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, oh let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be John Lennon, Paul McCartney 1970

LITTLE RABBIT

In a cabin in the woods, little old man by the window stood (stroke rabbit)
Saw a rabbit hopping by, frightened as can be (hopping hands)
"Help me, help me, help me." He said (hands up)
"Before the hunter shoots me dead" (shoot)
Come little rabbit, come inside; safely at my side (beckon in)

Then verses in the timid voice and aggressive voice with appropriately exaggerated actions

Llama Song

Heres a llama,
theres a llama,
and another little llama,
fuzzy llama,
funny llama,
llama llama duck.

Llama llama cheesecake llama,
tablet brick potato llama,
llama llama mushroom llama,
llama llama duck.

I was once a treehouse,
I lived in a cake,
but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake.

I was only three years dead,
but it told a tale.
and now listen little child to the safety rail.

Did you ever see a llama,
kiss a llama on a llama?
Llama's llama tastes of llama,
llama llama duck.

Half a llama,
twice a llama,
not a llama,
farmer llama
llama in a car,
alarm a
llama llama duck.

Is this how its told now?
Is it all so old?
Is it made of lemon juice,
doornob, ankle, cold.
Now my song is getting thin,
I've run out of luck.
Time for me to retire now,
and become a duck.

LLOYD GEORGE KNEW MY FATHER

(Tune = Onward Christian Soldiers)

Lloyd George knew my father
Father knew Lloyd George
Lloyd George knew my father
Father knew Lloyd George
Lloyd George knew my father
Father knew Lloyd George
Lloyd George knew my father
Father knew Lloyd George
Lloyd George knew my father
Father knew Lloyd George
Lloyd George knew my father
Father knew Lloyd George

MR. TAMBOURINE MAN (The Byrds)

Hey, Mr. tambourine man
Play a song for me
I’m not sleepy and
There ain’t no place I’m going to
Hey, Mr. tambourine man
Play a song for me
In the jingle jangle morning
I’ll come following you

Take me for a trip upon
Your magic swirling ship
All my senses have been stripped
And my hands can’t feel to grip
And my toes, too numb to step,
Wait only for my boot heels to be wandering
I’m ready to go anywhere
I’m ready for to fade
Unto my own parade
Cast your dancing spell my way
I promise to go under it

Hey, Mr. tambourine man
Play a song for me
I’m not sleepy and
There ain’t no place I’m going to
Hey, Mr. tambourine man
Play a song for me
In the jingle jangle morning
I’ll come following you
 Bob Dylan, 1965

MUSIC MAN

I am the music man and I come from down your way
And I can play
What can you play?


I play piano
Pia-pia-piano, piano, piano
Pia-pia-piano, pia-piano

Big bass drum
Boom, boom, boom-boom-boom
Pia-pia-piano, piano, piano

Triangle
Ting-a-ting-a-ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling
Boom, boom, boom-boom-boom
Pia-pia-piano, piano, piano

Trombone
um-pa, um-pa, um-pa-pa
Ting-a-ting-a-ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling
Boom, boom, boom-boom-boom
Pia-pia-piano, piano, piano

Bagpipes
Nasal sound to "Scotland the Brave" vio-vio-viola, viola, viola
um-pa, um-pa, um-pa-pa
Ting-a-ting-a-ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling
Boom, boom, boom-boom-boom
Pia-pia-piano, piano, piano

Dam Busters
Act like a plane, singing "Dambusters" theme
Nasal sound to "Scotland the Brave"

um-pa, um-pa, um-pa-pa
Ting-a-ting-a-ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling
Boom, boom, boom-boom-boom
Pia-pia-piano, piano, piano

MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN

My Bonnie lies over the ocean,
My Bonnie lies over the sea,
My Bonnie lies over the ocean,
Oh bring back my Bonnie to me.
Ô Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me;

Ô Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me.

[Action: As you sing each word beginning with the letter B, change from a standing to a sitting position and vice versa. All should be standing at the end of the song. When you have mastered these movements, sing it again, faster.]

MY FATHER'S A LAVATORY CLEANER (Brasso)

(Tune = My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)

My father's a lavatory cleaner
He works both by day and by night
And when he comes home in the evening
He's covered all over in Shine
Up your buttons with Brasso
Its only three apence a tin
And when you buy it from Woolworths
There’s only a little bit in

Some say that he died of a fever
Some say that he dies of a fit
But I know what my father did die of
He died of the smell of the Shine
Up your buttons with Brasso
Its only three ‘apence a tin
You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths
But I doubt if they'll have any in

Some say that he's buried in a graveyard
Som say that he's buried in a pit
But I know where my fathers buried
He's buried in six feet of Shine
Up your buttons with Brasso
Its only three ‘apence a tin
And when you buy it from Woolworths
There’s only a little bit in

MY HAT IT HATH THREE CORNERS

My hat it has three corners
Three corners has my hat
And had it not three corners
It would not be my hat

The first time, sing all the words. The second time, touch the top of the head instead of saying the word, "hat"
The third time, also hold up three fingers instead of saying the word, "three"
The fourth time, keep all the previous actions and hold up an elbow instead of saying the word, "corners"

MY STOMACH HAS HAD IT

[Tune: My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean]

My breakfast lies over the ocean,
My dinner lies over the sea,
My stomach is in a commotion,
Don't mention my supper to me.

CHORUS
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my bucket to me, to me . . .

I really felt rotten this morning,
They tell me I really looked pale,
My stomach gave adequate warning,
To lean far out over the rail.

The sound of a stomach in motion,
A murmuring noise inside me,
I looked down and there on the water,
Was breakfast and dinner and tea.

NURSERY RHYMES

Chorus
Hump-ty dump
Hump hump hump humpety dump
Hump-ty dump
Hump hump hump humpety dump
Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
All called out “Let’s get funky now”
Chorus
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill said, “Lets get funky now”
Chorus
Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the cow said “Let’s get funky now”
Chorus
Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone
But the cupboard was bare
And the dog barked “Let’s get funky now”
Chorus
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating his pudding and pie
He put in his thumb and pulled out a plum
Then he said “Let’s get funky now”
Chorus

NUTBUSH CITY LIMITS - Tina Turner

A church house gin house
A school house outhouse
On highway number nineteen
The people keep the city clean
They call it Nutbush, oh Nutbush
They call it Nutbush city limits

Twenty-five for speed limit
Motorcycle not allowed in it
You go to store on Friday
You go to church on Sunday
They call it Nutbush, oh Nutbush
They call it Nutbush city limits

You go to the fields on weekdays
And have a picnic on labour day
You go to town on Saturday
And go to church every sunday
They call it Nutbush, oh Nutbush
They call it Nutbush city limits

No whiskey for sale
If you get drunk no bail
Salt pork and molasses
Is all you get in jail
They call it Nutbush, oh Nutbush
They call it Nutbush city limits

A little old town in Tennessee
A quiet little community
A one-horse town
You have to watch what you're putting down
In old Nutbush, oh Nutbush

OH YOU’LL NEVER GO TO HEAVEN

Oh you’ll never go to heaven (echo) in a jumbo jet, (echo)
’Cause the Lord ain't got (echo) no runways yet. (echo)

Oh you’ll never go to heaven in a jumbo jet,
’Cause the Lord ain't got no runways yet.

I ain’t gonna grieve my Lord no m-o-r-e

I ain’t gonna grieve my Lord

I ain’t gonna grieve my Lord

I ain’t gonna grieve my Lord no more

Oh you’ll never go to heaven in that old car
’Cause that old car won’t get that far

Oh you’ll never go to heaven in a limousine,
’Cause the Lord don't sell no gasoline.

Oh you’ll never go to heaven in a Ford Coupe
’Cause the angels all drive Chevrolets

Oh you’ll never go to heaven on ………………’s bike,
’Cause you'll go halfway, then you'll have to hike.

Oh you’ll never go to heaven on roller skates
’Cause you'd skate right past those Pearly Gates

Oh you’ll never go to heaven, in ………………’s boat,
’Cause ………………’s boat won't even float.

Oh you’ll never go to heaven with a bottle of gin
’Cause the Lord don't let them spirits in

Oh you’ll never go to heaven in a wonder bra
’Cause a wonder bra won't stretch that far

Oh you’ll never go to heaven in a strapless gown,
’Cause a strapless gown might fall right down.

Oh you’ll never go to heaven in dirty jeans
’Cause the Lord ain't got no washing machines

Oh you’ll never go to heaven in a biscuit tin
’Cause a biscuit tin’s got biscuits in

Oh I want to go to heaven, and I want to do it right,
So I'll go to heaven all dressed in white.

Oh one fine day, and it won't be long,
You'll look for me, and I'll be gone.

And if you get there before I do
Just drill a hole and pull me through

That's all there is, there is no more
St Peter said, as he shut the door

Oh there's one more thing I forgot to tell,
If you don't go to heaven, you'll go to...bed

OLD MACDONALD

Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i ei-i oh
And on that farm he had a cow, ee-i ei-i oh
Big cow, little cow, little cow, big cow
Fat cow, thin cow, thin cow, fat cow

Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i ei-i oh
And on that farm he had a pig, ee-i ei-i oh
Big pig, little pig, little pig, big pig
Fat pig, thin pig, thin pig, fat pig
Big cow, little cow, little cow, big cow
Fat cow, thin cow, thin cow, fat cow
Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i ei-i oh
etc.

A variation is Old MacDonald had a zoo with monkey's etc.

ON ILKLEY MOOR BAR T'AT (On Ilkley Moor ba "t at")

Where hast tha’ been since I saw thee, (I saw thee)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at
Where hast tha’ been since I saw thee, (I saw thee)
Where hast tha’ been since I saw thee (wi’out thy trousers on)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at (where’s that?)

On Ilkley Moor bar t'at (‘Ouzat?)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at (where the ducks play football)

Tha’s been a courting Mary Jane, (Mary Jane)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at

Tha’s been a courting Mary Jane, (Mary Jane)

Tha’s been a courting Mary Jane (wi’out thy trousers on)

On Ilkley Moor bar t'at (where’s that?)

On Ilkley Moor bar t'at (‘Ouzat?)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at (where the ducks play football)

Tha’s bahn’ a catch thy death of cold, (death of cold)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at etc.

Then we shall have to bury thee, (bury thee)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at etc.

Then t’worms ‘ll come and ate thee up, (ate thee up)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at etc.

Then ducks'll come and ate up t’worms, (ate up t’worms)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at etc.

Then we shall come and ate up ducks, (ate up ducks)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at etc.

Then we shall all have eaten thee, (eaten thee)
On Ilkley Moor bar t'at etc.

There is a moral to this tale, (to this tale)

On Ilkley Moor bar t'at
There is a moral to this tale, (to this tale)

There is a moral to this tale, (wi’out thy trousers on)
Don’t go wi’out your ‘at,

Don’t go wi’out your ‘at

Don’t - go - with - out - your - hat!

ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI

(Tune = On Top of Old Smokey)

On top of Spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table, and onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.

It rolled down the garden, and under a bush,
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush!

The mush was as tasty, as tasty could be,
And then the next summer it grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered, all covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs, all covered with sauce.

So if you have spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
Hold onto your meatball, 'cause someone might sneeze.

ONE MAN WENT TO MOW

One man went to mow
Went to mow a meadow
One man and his dog, Spot, bottle of pop, old Mother Riley had a cow
Went to mow a meadow

Two men went to mow . .
two men, one man and his dog, Spot, bottle of pop, old Mother Riley had a cow .

PACK UP YOUR TROUBLES

Pack up your troubles in your old kitbag
And smile, smile, smile
While you've a lucifer to light your way,
Smile boys that's the style.
What's the use of worrying?
It never was worthwhile,
So pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile smile smile

PEACEFUL, EASY FEELING (The Eagles)

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay
Against your skin so brown
And I want to sleep with you in the desert tonight
With a billion stars all around

‘Cos I’ve got a peaceful, easy feeling
And I know you won’t let me down
‘Cos I’m already standing
On the ground

And I found out a long time ago
What a woman can do to your soul
Oh but she can take you anyway
You don’t already know how to go

And I’ve got a peaceful, easy feeling
And I know you won’t let me down
‘Cos I’m already standing
On the ground

I get this feeling I may know you
As a lover and a friend
But this voice keeps whispering in my other ear
Tells me I may never see you again

‘Cos I get a peaceful, easy feeling
And I know you won’t let me down
‘Cos I’m already standing
I’m already standing
Yes I’m already standing
On the ground
 Tempchin, 1972

PIZZA HUT

A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut
Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Pizza Hut
A Pizza Hut, a Pizza Hut
Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Pizza Hut
MacDonalds, MacDonalds
Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Pizza Hut
MacDonalds, MacDonalds
Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Pizza Hut

A Ford Escort a Ford Escort
A Mini Mini Mini and a Ford Escort
A Ford Escort a Ford Escort
A Mini Mini Mini and a Ford Escort
Ferrari, Ferrari
A Mini Mini Mini and a Ford Escort
Ferrari, Ferrari
A Mini Mini Mini and a Ford Escort

QUATERMASTER'S STORES (Scouts)

There was Chris, Chris taking a piss,
In the stores, in the stores.
There are Chris, Chris taking a piss,
In the Quartermaster's store.

CHORUS
My eyes are dim, I can not see.
I've left my specs in the W U C.
I've left my specs in the W U C.

Paul . . . always playing the fool.
Ruth . . . always telling the truth!
Matt . . . being a silly prat.
Mark . . . doing it in the dark.
Martyn . . . doing lots of larkin'.
Sam . . . finishing all the jam.
Jane . . . slowly going insane.
Sara. . . wearing a tiara.
Jim . . . trying not to sin.
Emma . . . with a big dilemma.
Eddy. . . the one who's always ready. [etc. etc. make one up for each scout and leader!]

REIGHT DAHN IN COIL OIL

(to be sung fast in a broad South Yorkshire accent – needs practice first!)

We’re reight dahn in coil oil where muck splats on t’winders

We’ve used all ah coil up an’ we’re nah dahn t’cinders

When the yon bailiff comes ‘e’ll never find us

‘cus we’re reight dahn in coil oil where muck splats on t’winders

(Translation: to be sung more slowly in a posh Home Counties accent)

We are down in the basement where the filth accumulates upon the casement

We’ve combusted all our anthracite and are now left with the residue

When the queen’s representative comes he will never discover us

Because we are down in the basement where the filth accumulates upon the casement

ROCKSTAR - Nickelback

I'm through with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth and I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me watchya want)

I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough for ten plus me

(Tell me watchya need)

I'll need a
Credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club at thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny as we just won't eat
And we'll
Hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair and well,
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs so I can eat my meals for free

(I'll have the quesadilla, ha ha)

I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centrefold that loves to blow my money for me

(So how you gonna do it)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny as we just won't eat
And we'll
Hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair
And we'll
Hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a Drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser
Get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync em every night so I don't get'em wrong

Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny as we just won't eat
And we'll
Hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair
And we'll
Hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Ha, ha fooled you,
I'm a submarine.

Row, row, row the boat
Gently down the stream
If you see a waterfall
Don't forget to scream

Row, row, row the boat
Gently down the stream
If you're going backwards
You're going up stream

Row, row, row the boat
Gently down the stream
If you wear a parachute
You definitely do extreme

Rock, rock, rock the boat
Gently to and fro
If you do it hard enough
Into the water you go

A variation is:-
Row, row, row the boat
Gently down the stream
Ha Ha fooled you
I'm a submarine

SCARBOROUGH FAIR

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Remember me to the one who lives there
For she once was a true love of mine.


Have her make me a cambric shirt
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Without a seam or fine needle worn
And she'll be a true love of mine

Have her wash it in yonder dry well
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Where ne'er a drop of water e'er fell
And then she'll be a true love of mine

Dear, when thou hast finished thy task
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Come to me, my hand for to ask
For thou then art a true love of mine

SCOUT STAR
To the tune of RockStar - Nickleback - written by Angus, Chris, Matt and Jamie of Woodpeckers at Spring Camp 2008

I'm through with standing in line
To tents I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the flag
And we're always going to win
This camp hasn't turned out
Quite the way I wanted it to be

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new tent
On a series of Ray Mears
And a toilet tent we can play wide games in
And then a king size river
Big enough for Cameran and Dom

(So what you need?)

We need sleeping bags that's got no limit
And a big black tent with a bathroom in it
Gonna join the scouting club
At thirty-thousand acres

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for camping with scouts
I even grow my hair and eat that grouts

'Cause we all just wanna be scout stars
And live in hill top tents driving 15 go karts
And the fire comes easy and the equipment's cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we eat and eat
And we'll hang out with Mr Barr
And the VIP with the Explorer Star
Every good gold scout
Gonna wind up there
Every play boy Ping
With his bleech blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a Scout Star
Hey hey I wanna be a Scout Star

'Cause we all just wanna be scout stars
And live in hill top tents driving 15 go karts
And the fire comes easy and the equipment's cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we eat and eat
And we'll hang out with Mr Barr
And the VIP with the Explorer Star
Every good gold scout
Gonna wind up there
Everybody has got Martyn
On thier speed dial

Hey hey I wanna be a Scout Star
Hey hey I wanna be a Scout Star
Yes I do

SHE'LL BE COMIN' 'ROUND THE MOUNTAIN

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes.
She'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes.
She'll be comin' 'round the mountain,
Comin' 'round the mountain,
Comin' 'round the mountain when she comes.

(clapping)
Singing aye aye yippy yippy aye
Singing aye aye yippy yippy aye
Singing aye aye yippy
(my mum’s a hippy)
aye aye yippy yippy aye

She'll be driving six white horses when she comes. (Whoa back!)
She'll be driving six white horses when she comes. (Whoa back!)
She'll be driving six white horses,
driving six white horses,
driving six white horses when she comes. (Whoa back!)

(clapping)
Singing aye aye yippy yippy aye…

Oh, we'll all be there to meet her when she comes. (Hi babe!)
Oh, we'll all be there to meet her when she comes. (Hi babe!)
We'll all be there to meet her
All be there to meet her
Oh, we'll all be there to meet her when she comes. (Hi babe! Whoa back!)

(clapping)
Singing aye aye yippy yippy aye…

She'll be wearing silk pajamas when she comes, [Wolf whistle.]

She'll be wearing silk pajamas when she comes, [Wolf whistle.]

She'll be wearing silk pajamas

Wearing silk pajamas

She'll be wearing silk pajamas when she comes, [Wolf whistle, Hi babe! Whoa back!)

(clapping)

Singing aye aye yippy yippy aye…

Oh, we'll all have chicken and dumplings when she comes, (Yum, yum!)
Oh, we'll all have chicken and dumplings when she comes, (Yum, yum!)
Oh, we'll all have chicken and dumplings
All have chicken and dumplings
Oh, we'll all have chicken and dumplings when she comes, (Yum, yum! Wolf whistle, Hi babe! Whoa back!)

(clapping)

Singing aye aye yippy yippy aye…

Oh, we'll all have a party when she comes, (Yee hah!)
Oh, we'll all have a party when she comes, (Yee hah!)
Oh, we'll all have a party
All have a party
Oh, we'll all have a party when she comes, (Yee hah! Yum, yum! Wolf whistle, Hi babe!

Whoa back!)

Oh we’ll all be sorry to see it when she goes (boo hoo)…..

SINGING IN THE RAIN

I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain.
What a glorious feeling, I'm … happy again.
Thumbs up! [Group echoes.]

Toot-ta-ta-da, da da
toot-ta-ta-da,
Toot-ta-ta-da, da da
toot-ta-ta-da,

I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain.
What a glorious feeling, I'm … happy again.

Thumbs up! [Group echoes.]
Elbows out! [Group echoes.]

Toot-ta-ta-da, da da
toot-ta-ta-da,
Toot-ta-ta-da, da da
toot-ta-ta-da,

I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain.
What a glorious feeling, I'm … happy again.

Toot-ta-ta-da, da da
toot-ta-ta-da,
Toot-ta-ta-da, da da
toot-ta-ta-da,

[Add each of the following, in turn:]
Bums out,
Chest out,
Knees together,
Toes together,
Chin down,
Tongue out
[Leader then takes photograph of audience acting daft!]

STAR TREKKIN'

Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.

Lt. Uhura, report!

Uhura: There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, Jim.

Analysis, Mr. Spock!

Spock: It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, not as we know it.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it,
not as we know it, Captain.

Medical update, Doctor McCoy!

McCoy: It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim. Dead, Jim.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim.
Dead, Jim, Dead.

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk!

Kirk: Ha-ha! We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, shoot to kill.
We come in peace, shoot to kill,
shoot to kill, men.

Engineer, Mister Scott!

Scotty: Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, laws of physics!
Ye canna change the laws of physics,
laws of physics, yet

[Repeat verses, sing as a round, chorus, etc...]

Na..na..na..na..na..Na..na..na
Na..na..na, Na..na..na
Na..na..na..na..na..Na..na..na
Na..na..na, Na

Star Trekking, across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise, under Captain Kirk!
Star Trekking, across the universe,
Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse!

SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT

CHORUS
Swing low, sweet chariot, comin' for to carry me home;
Swing low, sweet chariot, comin' for to carry me home.

I looked over Jordan, and what did I see,
Comin' for to carry me home;
A band of angels coming after me,
Comin' for to carry me home.

If you get to heaven before I do,
Comin' for to carry me home;
Just tell all my friends that I'm a coming too,
Comin' for to carry me home.

I'm sometimes up and sometimes down,
Comin' for to carry me home;
But still my soul feels heavenly bound,
Comin' for to carry me home.

I've never been to heaven, but I've been told,
Comin' for to carry me home;
That the streets in heaven are paved with gold,
Comin' for to carry me home.

TAVERN IN THE TOWN

There is a tavern in the town, in the town
And there my dear love sits him down, sits him down
And drinks his wine 'mid laughter free
And never, never, thinks of me
Fare thee well, for I must leave thee
Do not let the parting grieve thee
And remember that the best of friends must part, must part
A-dieu, kind friends, a-dieu, a-dieu, a-dieu, a-dieu
I can no longer stay with you, stay with you
I'll hang my harp on a weeping willow tree
And may the world go well with thee

TELL ME WHY

Tell me why the stars do shine
Tell me why the ivy twines
Tell me why the ocean's blue
And I will tell you just why I love you
Because God made the stars to shine
Because God made the ivy twine
Because God made the ocean blue
Because God made you, that's why I love you
I really think that God above
Created you for me to love
He picked you out from all the rest
Because He knew, dear, that I'd love you best

Tell me why the bugs do bite
Tell me why the campfire won't light
Tell me why the tent fell down
Tell me why we slept on the ground
Because they're hungry, the bugs do bite
Because the wood's wet, the campfire won't light
Because we're sloppy, the tent fell down
Because we're crazy, we slept on the ground

TEN GREEN BOTTLES

Ten green bottles, hanging on the wall
Ten green bottles, hanging on the wall
And if one green bottle should accidently fall
there'll be nine green bottles, hanging on the wall

Nine green bottles . . .
Eight green bottles . . .
Seven green bottles . . .
Six green bottles . . .
Five green bottles . . .
Four green bottles . . .
Three green bottles . . .
Two green bottles . . .
One green bottles . . .
There'll be no green bottles, hanging on the wall

A variation:-
Ten sticks of dynamite, hanging on the wall
Ten sticks of dynamite, hanging on the wall
And if one stick of dynamite should accidently fall
There'd be no sticks of dynamite and no bloomin' wall

TEN IN A BED

There were ten in a bed and the little one said "Roll over, roll over"
So they all rolled over and two fell out
And banged his head and gave a shout
Please remember single beds are meant for
Nine in the bed and the little one said "Roll over, roll over"
So they all rolled over and two fell out
And banged his head and gave a shout
Please remember single beds are meant for
Eight ...Seven.. Six..Five..Four..Three.. (sing it faster and faster until the end of the last verse when you slow down) ..
Two in the bed and the little one said "Roll over, roll over"
So they all rolled over and two fell out
And banged his head and gave a shout
Please remember single beds are meant for ONE!

ANIMAL FAIR

I went to the animal fair
The birds and the beasts were there
The big baboon by the light of the moon
Was combing his auburn hair
The monkey fell out of his bunk, (clap)
Slid down the elephant's trunk, weeeee
The elephant sneezed and fell on his knees
And what became of the monkey, monkey, monkey . . . .

THE ANNOYING SONG

(Set to Battle Hymn of the Republic)

I know a song that get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves, get on your nerves,
I know a song that get on your nerves,
And it goes like this
etc. etc. etc....

THE BOXER (Simon & Garfunkel)

I am just a poor boy though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises
All lies and jest, still a man hears
what he wants to hear,
and disregards the rest

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers,
In the quiet of a railway station, running scared,
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know

Lai la lai, Lai la lai lai lai la lai,
Lai la lai, Lai la lai lai lai lai lai, la la la la lai

Asking only workmens wages I come looking for a job,
But I get no offers,
Just a come-on from the whores on seventh avenue,
I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there
Lai la lai
Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
and wishing I was gone
Where the New York city aren't bleeding me,
Leading me, going home.

In the clearing stands a boxer
and a fighter by his trade
and he carries the reminders
of every glove that laid him down
Or cut him till he cried out,
In his anger and his pain,
`I am leaving, I am leaving',
but the fighter still remains,

Lai la lai... Paul Simon

THE COW KICKED FRED

The cow kicked Fred in the head in the barn
And the Doctor said it would do no harm
So we all kicked Fred in the head in the barn

Second verse same as the first
A little bit louder a little bit worse

THE FIRST AIDERS SONG  to The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of camping the Leader sent to me
A boy who had skinned his knee

On the second day of camping the Leader sent to me
Two banged heads, and a boy who had skinned his knee

three nose-bleeds . .
four mozzie bites . .
five nettle-stings . .
six boys with splinters . .
seven upset tummies . .
eight cuts and grazes . .
nine twisted ankles . .
ten homesick Leaders . .
eleven boys with measles . .
twelve angry parents . .

THE GRAND OLD CAPTAIN KIRK

O, the grand old Captain Kirk
He has five hundred men
He beamed them up to the Enterprise
And he beamed them down again
And when they were up they were up (stand up)
And when they were down they were down (squat down)
And when they were only half way up (hover half way)
They were nowhere to be found (stand up, squat down quickly)

THE GRAND OLD DUKE OF ORKS

Oh, the grand old Duke of Orks,
he had ten thousand orks.
He marched them up to Gandalfs house,
and had a cup of tea.
And when they were up, they were up;
And when they were down, they were down;
And when they were only half way up,
they were neither up nor down.

THE GRAND OLD DUKE OF YORK

Oh, the grand old Duke of York,
he had ten thousand men.
He marched them up the hill,
and he marched them down again.
And when they were up, they were up;
And when they were down, they were down;
And when they were only half way up,
they were neither up nor down.

THE GREAT AMERICAN RAILWAY

In eighteen hundred and fifty one
The American railway was begun
The American railway was begun
The Great American railway

Patsy atsy ori ay, ori ay, ori ay
Patsy atsy ori ay, ori ay, ori ay
The Great Amaerican railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty two
I found myself with nothing to do
I found myself with nothing to do
The Great American railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty three
The overseer accepted me
The overseer accepted me
For workin' on the railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty four
My back was getting mighty sore
My back was getting mighty sore
From workin' on the railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty five
I found myself more dead than alive
I found myself more dead than alive
From workin' on the railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty six
I dropped a couple of dynamite sticks
I dropped a couple of dynamite sticks
While workin' on the railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty seven
I found myself half way to heaven
I found myself half way to heaven
From workin' on the railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty eight
I found myself at the Pearly Gate
I found myself at the Pearly Gate
From workin' on the railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty nine
A cherub's harp and wings were mine
A cherub's harp and wings were mine
From workin' on the railway

In eighteen hundred and fifty-ten
If you want any more, you can sing it yer sen
If you want any more, you can sing it yer sen
The Great American railway

THE HAPPY WANDERER

I love to go a-wandering
Along the mountain track,
And as a go I love to sing,
My knapsack on my back.

chorus
Valderi, Valdera, Valderi,
Valdera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha,
Valderi, Valdera,
My Knapsack on my back.

I love to wander by the stream
That dances in the sun.
So joyously it calls to me:
Come join my happy song.

chorus

I wave my hat to all I meet
And they wave back to me,
And blackbirds call so loud and sweet,
From every greenwood tree.

chorus

High overhead the skylarks wing,
They never rest at home,
But just like me they love to sing,
As o’er the world we roam.

chorus

Oh, may I go a-wandering
Until the day I die.
And may I always laugh and sing,
Beneath God’s clear blue sky.

chorus

THE HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN (The Animals)

There is a house in New Orleans
they call the Rising Sun
It's been the ruin of many a poor girl,
and God I know of one

My mother she's a tailor
She sewed those new blue jeans
My father he's a gambling man
Oh Lord, down in New Orleans

Well the only thing a gambler needs
Is a suitcase and a trunk
And the only time he's satisfied
Is when he's on a run

So mother, tell your children
not to do what I have done
Shun that house in New Orleans
they call the Rising Sun

THE LITTLE GREEN FROG

Gaaloomph the little green frog one day
Gaaloomph the little green frog
Gaaloomph the little green frog one day
The little green frog went gloomph gloomph Aaagh!

But we all know frogs go (clap) laa dee daa dee daa
(clap) laa dee daa dee daa (clap) laa dee daa dee daa
We all know frogs go (clap) laa dee daa dee daa
They don't go gloomph gloomph Aaagh!

And we all know frogs go Squelch when you step on them
Squelch when you step on them Squelch when you step on them
We all know frogs go Squelch when you step on them
They don't go gloomph gloomph Aagh!

And we all know frogs go Ping in the microwave
Ping in the microwave Ping in the microwave
We all know frogs go Ping in the microwave
They don't go gloomph gloomph Aaagh!

And well know frogs go Whizz in the blender
Whizz in the blender Whizz in the blender
We all know frogs go Whizz in the blender
They don't go gloomph gloomph Aaagh!

And we all know frogs go Splat in the ceiling fan
Splat in the ceiling fan Splat in the ceiling fan
We all know frogs go Splat in the ceiling fan
They don't go gloomph gloomph Aaagh!

And we all know frogs go (clap) laa dee daa dee daa
(clap) laa dee daa dee daa (clap) laa dee daa dee daa
We all know frogs go (clap) laa dee daa dee daa
They don't go gloomph gloomph Aaagh!

THE QUARTERMASTER'S STORE

There are rats, rats, as big as alley cats,
In the store, in the store.
There are rats, rats, as big as alley cats,
In the Quartermaster's store.

CHORUS
My eyes are dim, I can not see.
I have not brought my specks with me.

I have not brought my specks with me.

Mice . . . running through the rice.
Beans . . . as big as submarines.
Gravy . . . enough to float the navy.
Cakes . . . that give us tummy aches.
Butter . . . running in the gutter.
Bread . . . with great big lumps like lead.
Cheese . . . that makes you want to sneeze.
Goats . . . eating all the oats.
Bees . . . with little knobby knees.
Owls . . . shredding paper towels.
Apes . . . eating all the grapes.
Foxes . . . stuffed in little boxes.
Coke . . . enough to make you choke.
Pepsi . . . that gives you apoplexy.
Flies . . . swarming 'round the pies.
Fishes . . . washing all the dishes.
Moths . . . eating through the cloths.
Scouts . . . eating Brussels sprouts.

THE SOUNDS OF SILENCE (Simon & Garfunkel)

Hello darkness my old friend,
I've come to talk to you again,
Because a vision softly creeping
left its seeds while I was sleeping
And a vision
that was planted in my brain
still remains,
within the sounds of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone,
narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a pale street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp,
when my eyes were stabbed
by the flash of neon light
that split the night
and touched the sounds of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
and no one dare
disturb the sound of silence

`Fools' said I `You do not know,
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
take my arms that I might reach you,'
but my words like silent rainbows fell
and echoed in the wells of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed
to the neon gods they'd made.
And the sign flashed out its warning
in the words that it was forming.
And the sign said `The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
and tenement halls'
and whispered in the sound of silence. Paul Simon

THIS OLD MAN

This old man, he plays one,
He plays knick-knack on my thumb.
With a knick-knack, paddy-wack, give a dog a bone.
This old man goes rolling home.
Two-on my shoe. [Tap shoe.]
Three-on my knee. [Tap on knee.]
Four-on the floor. [Touch the floor.]
Five-on my hive. [Move hands as if brushing bees away from ears.]
Six-on my sticks. [Tap knuckles of other hand.]
Seven-up to Devon. [Shake fist.]
Eight-on my pate. [Tap top of head.]
Nine-on my spine. [Touch backbone.]
Ten-now and then. [Raise hands shoulder high, open and close fists in rhythm.]

THREE BLIND JELLYFISH

Three blind jellyfish
Three blind jellyfish
Three blind jellyfish sitting on a rock
and one fell off
Ahhhhhhhhh!

Two blind jellyfish
Ahhhhhhhhh!

One blind jellyfish
Ahhhhhhhhh!
No blind jellyfish

And then one came back!
Hooray!!!

One blind jellyfish
One blind jellyfish
One blind jellyfish sitting on a rock

And another one came back!
Hooray!!!

Two blind jellyfish
Hooray!

Three blind jellyfish
Three blind jellyfish
Three blind jellyfish sitting on a rock.

TIE ME KANGAROO DOWN, SPORT

[Intro, softly spoken] An old Australian Stockman was lying, dying, but he gets himself up on one elbow, and he calls to his station hands and says . . .

"I'm going, Blue; so this you gotta do,
I'm not gonna pull through, Blue, so this you gotta do..."

CHORUS
Tie me kangaroo down, sport, tie me kangaroo down. [Repeat.]

Let me wombats go loose, Bruce,
let me wombats go loose.
They're of no further use, Bruce,
so let me wombats go lose.

Take me koalas back, Jack, take me koalas back.
They live somewhere out on the track, Mac, so take me koalas back.

Watch me wallabies feed, Speed,
watch me wallabies feed,
They're a dangerous breed, Speed,
so watch me wallabies feed.

Keep me cockatoos cool, Curl, keep me cockatoos cool,
Don't go acting the fool, Curl, just keep me cockatoos cool.

Mind me platypus duck, Bill, mind me platypus duck.
Don't let him go running amuck, Bill, mind me platypus duck.

Play your didgeridoo, Lew, play your didgeridoo,
Keep playing 'til I shoot through, Lew, play your didgeridoo.

[haltingly with pathos]
Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred, ta-n m-e h-i-d-e wh-e-n I'm d-e-a-d
[lively] So we tanned his hide, when he died, Clyde,
and that's it hanging on the shed!

WE’RE GOIN’ ON A BEAR HUNT
Click here to go to the Crowborough Caves web page for loads of cave information

(Audience repeats each line)

We’re goin' on a Bear hunt
We’re not scared!
With our guns by our side!
What's that ahead?

It's a door!
A great big door
Can't go over it,
Can't go round it
Can't go under it,
Gotta go through it.
[Creeeeeak...Bang!]

CHORUS
We’re goin' on a Bear hunt
We’re not scared!
With our guns by our side!
And real bullets!
What's that ahead?

It's grass!
Long thick grass
Can't go over it,
Can't go round it
Can't go under it,
Gotta go through it.
[russle russle russle russle]

CHORUS
We’re goin' on a Bear hunt

We’re not scared!

With our guns by our side!

And real bullets!

In a little drawstring bag!
What's that ahead?

It's thistles!

Very long thistles!

Can't go over it,

Can't go round it
Can't go under it,

Gotta go through it.
[ooch, ouch, ooch, ouch]

 

CHORUS
We’re goin' on a Bear hunt
We’re not scared!
With our guns by our side!
And real bullets!
In a little drawstring bag!
With our names on the side
What's that ahead?

It's river!
A very big river!
Can't go over it,
Can't go round it
Can't go under it,
Gotta go through it.
[swim, swim, etc]

CHORUS
We’re goin' on a Bear hunt
We’re not scared!
With our guns by our side!
And real bullets!
In a little drawstring bag!
With our names on the side
…And a completed risk assessment
What's that ahead?

It's a cave!
A deep dark cave!
A very dark cave!
We can’t see a thing!
So we open our eyes!

And we still can’t see anything!
So we stretch out our hands
But we can’t feel anything
So we stretch out our other hands
Oh – Ohh!
What's that?

It’s very big!
It’s very hairy!
IT'S A BEAR! Aaaahhh!!

Out of the Cave!
Through the river [swim swim]
Through the thistles! [ooch ouch]
Through the grass! [russle russle]
Through the door! [Creak...BANG!]
Phew!

We’ve been on a Bear Hunt

We got scared!

WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE

Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone,
young girls picked them, every one
When will they ever learn,
When will they ever learn,

Where have all the young girls gone...
...gone to young men every one
When will they every learn

Where have all the young men gone...
...they're all soldier's, every one
When will they ever learn

Where have all the soldiers gone
...gone to graveyards, every one
When will they ever learn

Where have all the graveyards gone
...gone to flower, every one
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn

WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE DRUNKEN SAILOR?

What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
Early in the morning?

CHORUS
Hooray and up she rises,
Hooray and up she rises,
Hooray and up she rises,
Early in the morning.

Take him, shake him and try to wake him ...

Put him in the scuppers with a hose pipe on him …

Put him in the long boat till he's sober …

Send him up the crow's nest until he falls down …

Tie him to the rail when she's yardarm under …

Flog him at the mast and then keel-haul him …

Bathe his wounds in salty water …

That's what we'll do with the drunken sailor …

WILD ROVER

I've been as wild rover for many a year
And I've spent all my money on whiskey and beer
And now I'm returning with gold in great store
And I never will play the wild rover no more

And It's no, nay, never
No, nay, never no more
Will I play the wild rover
No never no more

I went into an ale house I used to frequent
And I told the landlady my money was spent
I asked her for credit, she answered me "nay
Such custom as yours I can get any day"

And It's no, nay, never
No, nay, never no more
Will I play the wild rover
No never no more

I took out from my pocket 10 sovereigns bright
And the landlady's eyes opened wide with delight
She said "Sir, I have whiskey and wines of the best
And the words I just spoke they were only in jest"

And It's no, nay, never
No, nay, never no more
Will I play the wild rover
No never no more

I'll go home to my parents - confess what I've done
And I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son
And then they'll caress me as oft times before
And I never will play the wild rover no more

And It's no, nay, never
No, nay, never no more
Will I play the wild rover
No never no more

WOR GEORDIE

Wor Geordie’s lost ‘is penka
Wor Geordie’s lost ‘is penka
Wor Geordie’s lost ‘is penka
Doon the double row

It rolled into the clundy
It rolled into the clundy
It rolled into the clundy
Doon the double row

He reached but couldna’ fetch it
He reached but couldna’ fetch it
He reached but couldna’ fetch it
Doon the double row

So he went an’ fetched wor claesprop
So he went an’ fetched wor claesprop
So he went an’ fetched wor claesprop
Doon the double row

An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
Doon the double row

But still ‘e couldna’ fetch it
But still ‘e couldna’ fetch it
But still ‘e couldna’ fetch it
Doon the double row

So he went an’ fetched wor terrier
So he went an’ fetched wor terrier
So he went an’ fetched wor terrier
Doon the double row

And he tied it to wor claesprop
And he tied it to wor claesprop
And he tied it to wor claesprop
Doon the double row

An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
Doon the double row

But still it wouldna’ fetch it
But still it wouldna’ fetch it
But still it wouldna’ fetch it
Doon the double row

So he went and fetched gunpowder
So he went and fetched gunpowder
So he went and fetched gunpowder
Doon the double row

And he tied it to wor terrier
And he tied it to wor terrier
And he tied it to wor terrier
Doon the double row

An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
An’ ‘e rammed it up the clundy
Doon the double row

And then he lit gunpowder
And then he lit gunpowder
And then he lit gunpowder
Doon the double row

Wor Geordie’s found ‘is penka
Wor Geordie’s found ‘is penka
Wor Geordie’s found ‘is penka
… but he’s blown up double row

WOAD

(Tune = Men of Harlech)

What's the use of wearing braces ?
Vests and pants and boots with laces ?
Spats and hats you buy in places
Down the Brompton Road ?
What's the use of shirts of cotton ?
Studs that always get forgotten ?
These affairs are simply rotten,
Better far is woad.
Woad's the stuff to show men.
Woad to scare your foemen.
Boil it to a brilliant hue
And rub it on your back and your abdomen.
Ancient Briton ne'er did hit on
Anything as good as woad to fit on
Neck or knees or where you sit on.
Tailors you be blowed !!

Romans came across the channel
All dressed up in tin and flannel
Half a pint of woad per man'll
Dress us more than these.
Saxons you can waste your stitches
Building beds for bugs in britches
We have woad to clothe us which is
Not a nest for fleas
Romans keep your armours.
Saxons your pyjamas.
Hairy coats were made for goats,
Gorillas, yaks, retriever dogs and llamas
Tramp up Snowdon with your woad on,
Never mind if you get rained or blowed on
Never want a button sewed on.
Go it Ancient B's !!

WORMS

Nobody likes me.
Everybody hates me.
Think I'm gonna eat worms

Chorus:
Long, slim, slimy ones;
Short, fat, juicy ones;
Itsy--bitsy, fuzzy--wuzzy worms.

First you get a bucket,
Then you get a shovel.
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.

(chorus)

First you pull their heads off.
Then you suck their guts out.
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.

(chorus)

Down goes the first one;
Down goes the second one.
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.

(chorus)

Up comes the first one.
Up comes the second one.
Oh, how they wiggle and squirm.

(chorus)

ZULU DANCING

Have you ever seen a Zulu dancing?
If you look a me a Zulu you will see.
Stop! Attention! Carry On!,

one hand (slap one thigh with one hand)

Have you ever seen a Zulu dancing?
If you look a me a Zulu you will see.
Stop! Attention! Carry On!,

one hand (slap one thigh with one hand)

two hands (slap both thighs alternately)

Have you ever seen a Zulu dancing?
If you look a me a Zulu you will see.
Stop! Attention! Carry On!,

one hand (slap one thigh with one hand)

two hands (slap both thighs alternately)

one foot (add stamping with one foot)

Have you ever seen a Zulu dancing?
If you look a me a Zulu you will see.
Stop! Attention! Carry On!,

one hand (slap one thigh with one hand)

two hands (slap both thighs alternately)

one foot (add stamping with one foot)

two feet (add alternate stamping with both feet)

Have you ever seen a Zulu dancing?
If you look a me a Zulu you will see.
Stop! Attention! Carry On!,

one hand (slap one thigh with one hand)

two hands (slap both thighs alternately)

one foot (add stamping with one foot)

two feet (add alternate stamping with both feet)

Nod your head and go ‘ooo-oo-ooo-oo’

(turns into Indian war path noise)

SHOUTS
 

Billy Bennett

"Billy Bennett bought a boat br> WhaaaaaT?
Billy Bennett bought a boat?
Cut 'is throat?
Naw, cut 'is blooming 'ead off!"

Ham and eggs
Split the audience into 2 groups. The leader says the lines to each group in turn and they reply very loudly. Everyone shouts the first and last lines as loudly as possible.

All                   -     Haaaam and eggs, Haaaam and eggs
First group       –     I like mine done golden brown
Second group  -      I like mine done upside down
First group      -      Flip ‘em
Second group  -      Flop ‘em
First group      -      Flip ‘em
Second group   -     Flop ‘em
All                    -     Haaaam and eggs


Steamroller

Split the campfire into 2. One half are frogs they repeat the word rivet, the other half go Shhhh.., as the camp leader brings his hands together everyone shouts louder until the hands touch when everyone shouts Kersplat!!
The Urge

The urge, The Urge,
The Urge to Regurge!
Regurgitate! Regurgitate!
Bring Up all the food you ate!
Vomit! Vomit!
BLEEEEUGH!!!

Rule Britannia

Rule Britannia with marmalade and jam, 5 Chinese crackers in your ear hole
Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang! (accompanied by 5 claps)

Sing it through 5 times dropping one cracker, and so one clap, every time. I will guarantee that someone will get it wrong.

Winnie the Pooh

Basically this is the same as Oggie Oggie Oggie with the words changed. Split the audience into 2 groups or the leader can speak and the audience repeat, whatever rattles your chain.

Winnie winnie winnie, Pooh Pooh Pooh
Winnie winnie winnie, Pooh Pooh Pooh
Winnie, Pooh
Winnie, Pooh
Winnie winnie winnie, Pooh Pooh Pooh

Thanks to Alan Thompson of Uckfield Scouts who originally compiled the collection and has generously allowed us to use and expand the material.

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